When I was in my first year of college, and still in search of myself, I tried to maintain a blog before. It didn't work out really. BUT I still have it and I was reading my last post dated on the 20th of December 2009. I made a lot of sense back then even when I look back and think what the hell was I thinking between the ages of 13 and 20! So here's my little gem of a post after I cut my hair really short and kind of blondish because of all the damage I did dyeing my hair too many times. So here you go, this is 19 year old me talking about the good ol' myspace years and how belonging into a certain scene made you part of something bigger.


"Okay so I was thinking. And no it didn't hurt (for once). When I was about 13, 14 years old I kinda got into the goth scene I dyed my hair black, wore black and white striped socks and black skirts and shirts. Got my first studded belt as well. Yay for me. Most people looked at you like you were about to stab them with a knife or something and were even afraid to stare. Now ages later and loads of fashion trends after that, I'm thinking.. What's the point of fitting into a scene anyways?

Loads of people started to dye there hair in crazy ass colours, wore pins trough their ears and got pierced as well to make a difference. Now it looks like it doesn't matter how "different" you try to be, you'll always look the same as others. How many emo kids became scene kids? And how many scene kids fell in love with techno? I remember when gay god aka matthew lush was still popular on myspace and hollywood undead had a whole crew behind them. Now even Jeffree Star gets hardly attention.

At christmas time I always have the urge of listening to old stuff like stutterfly, green day, jack off jill.. The bands I listened to when I was 14. No one knew about Bring Me The Horizon and hardly anyone would know what stretching your ears meant. At least here in my area. Now everyone's aiming to be hardcore and wants the biggest gauges. The thickest glasses. And the Longest hair. Even I wanted that long hair! Now that it's short I feel like I don't have to be a part of anything just doing my own thing again like back in the days. Piercing trends come and go, but remember that gauges always stay unless you have enough money to 'sew' them back together to have a normal sized ear again.

I just want to say that kids these days are so easy to become a member of a scene and not all things in the scene are good to do. Same with being a gang member or popular kid. You always, whatever scene it might be, have to proof yourself. I've seen so many girls putting on such an amount of make up on their faces to look pretty while underneath all that powder, they already ARE pretty. It's such a shame, such a waste. You would get the attention without all that." 

If you agree with, again 19 year old me from the past, or you don't please leave a comment below with your view on scenes, parts of society etc. xo